Let's get straight to the point here, shall we? The Lunar New Year holidays are nearly over, and right now, it feels like Sunday night, when you're simultaneously dreading and waiting for Monday to come. I'm bored and sluggish, my laptop is, and you probably are, too. What better way is there to spend it than putting the finishing touches on this post which has, admittedly, been dawdling away in my drafts section as a half-formed shadow of its current self?
Anyhoo, here it is. Finally - the long-awaited product after weeks of me sitting on it, finally seeing daylight.
Not too long ago, I swore up and down, left and right, that I had renounced kinfolk and anything else which attempted to mimic its monochromatic, minimalistic vibe. As the magazines piled up issue by issue, I found myself questioning the values of wabi-sabi and virtues of slow living it extolled. Would decluttering one's wardrobe really declutter the mind? Was the mind as chaotic as a teenager's room, to begin with? What was once creditable became idealistic, and what were once textbooks for the ideal lifestyle became a glorified, expensive stack of books.
Still, this whole all-white, all-clean manifesto continued to flourish - establishments so colorless that one wondered if the owner simply bought up all the white furniture at the store, marble-this, marble-that, magazines with more white space than content. To this all, I turned up my nose to. After all, as a by-product of the 21st century, I was firmly anti-hipster, wasn't I? Look! No square-framed black glasses, or belly-baring ensembles, or whatever the kids are doing these days.
I'm spending the last few hours of 2016 feeling pretty grouchy, largely due to this being the only post for December, that my stomach is feeling like a wrung-out rag, and that there's a weird itch on my right clavicle. I mean, one post? During the holidays? What on earth has been going on with you, Charlie? Didn't you write down reminders to post those recipes in all three planners?
Alright, so I did. But in my defense, I was busy. Completely and utterly preoccupied catching up on Game of Thrones (finally understand that it is possible for a kid to be a diabolical, psychopathic sadist), trying to clear up math sums and finish Pride and Prejudice (I'm grudgingly being won over by Mr Darcy). Oh, did I mention that I worked at Punch too?
Anyhoo, in a largely futile attempt to assuage my guilt over ignoring all three reminders to post, here's some other things I did this year from more productive times.
"But what I do know, is how to make granola great again"
Big things have been happening.
Numero uno: I did the big chop. Bangs and all. That I have not had in seven whole years. (That’s the same number of years of an average dude’s pants) I’m still feeling a mixture of shock (what did you do!), hope (maybe I’ll finally look half-decent), and exasperation from blinking hair rapidly out of my eyes as I do half-assed attempts at headstands. Not to mention at times resembling a particularly hairy species of fungi thanks to the humidity.
Of course, not saying that I don’t like it – I love it. (the money for that came from my waitressing-slash-dishwashing gig; t’was hard-earned) And the thought of not having to spend so much time washing hair is pretty damn good.